


Beethoven virus

by sweetlikesugar



Series: Dream Pack Adam AU [9]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Swearing, That's it, mention of threats towards an unimportant character, skov hates it and the feeling is mutual, the cat is the main plot, they get a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 14:51:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12890238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlikesugar/pseuds/sweetlikesugar
Summary: Beethoven was as ugly as they came. He was lacking an ear, his eyes were watery and misty, he was fat, covered in bald patches, his legs were wobbly and crooked, his breathing sounded like a helicopter and he was stinking like nothing K ever smelled. He was dirty, disgusting and vomited way too much for it to be normal, but Kavinsky couldn't pinpoint why he actually liked the cat.





	Beethoven virus

**Author's Note:**

> i'm running out of ideas for this au so have these shitty teenagers with an equally shitty cat

“What is _that_?”, Skov screeched from the doorway.

 “Beethoven”, K replied, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

 “I've been in school long enough to know that Beethoven is, first of all fucking dead, and second, not a fucking cat”.

 “Listen”, K replied, getting annoyed, “you bring home hoes but I can't have a cat? In my own fucking house?”.

 “It doesn't have one ear! And it doesn't even look like a cat anymore! I'm pretty sure it has cat AIDS”, Skov grimaced, throwing his hands up.

 “I would still like you if you had AIDS. From twenty feet distance and through a wall, but I would still like you”, K mused.

 “Skov has AIDS?”, Jiang called from his room.

 “No I don't! Also why did you sound so happy about it?”, Skov wondered.

 “No reason”, Jiang smiled too innocently to be telling the truth, “who has AIDS then?”.

 “Beethoven”, Skov sighed.

 “Beethoven's been dead for too long to have AIDS though?”, Jiang asked puzzled.

 “I meant this caricature of a cat K found”, Skov motioned towards a fat, balding cat that stretched content across K's stomach.

 Jiang's face lit up in awe. “You are a caricature of a person and I've still liked you since we were ten”, he dismissed, reaching out to pet the cat's head.

 “Sure, shit all over my feelings, why not?”, Skov scoffed.

 “I know right?”, Jiang agreed absentmidnedly.

 

 

 

 

Beethoven stayed.

 

 

 

 

“Where did you even find him?”, Proko asked, eyeing the cat with visible disgust.

 “In an alley”, K said, smiling down at the balding, half blind cat.

 “No shit”, Proko rolled his eyes, “no one would keep him in their house”.

 “Well I'm keeping it, and if you don't like it you can suck my dick”.

 “I can suck your dick regardless of my opinion on that cat”, Proko snorted.

 “Gross guys”, Jiang groaned, “leave it for when I'm not here”.

 K just chuckled and scratched at the remain's of the cat's left ear.

 

 

 

“I am a dog person”, Adam stated, “but there's something about the cat that makes me like him”.

 “You like him because K smiles like crazy when he sees him, be honest”, Jiang droned unimpressed.

 “I guess”, Adam murmured, eyeing the way Beethoven vomited all over Skov's sweatshirt and Skov yelling in rage, “I still don't know why he named it Beethoven”.

 “Hey K!”, Jiang yelled, causing K and Adam to flinch violently in surprise, “why his name is Beethoven?”.

 K shrugged, “why not?”.

 “I don't have an answer for that”, Jiang murmured.

 

 

 

Beethoven was as ugly as they came. He was lacking an ear, his eyes were watery and misty, he was fat, covered in bald patches, his legs were wobbly and crooked, his breathing sounded like a helicopter and he was stinking like nothing K ever smelled. He was dirty, disgusting and vomited way too much for it to be normal, but Kavinsky couldn't pinpoint why he actually liked the cat.

 

“You're a disgusting piece of shit”, K observed, as Beethoven spun in circles, kneading his concave stomach, “absolutely gross. You stink even though I gave you, like, three baths”, Beethoven mrrrped, but whether that was an agreement or a resentment towards the baths, K couldn't tell. “You vomited all over Skov twice, your breath stinks and you peed in Swan's favourite shoes”, Beethoven started purring, contentedly dropping on K's stomach, punching the air out of him.

They stared at eachother for a moment, before Beethoven convulsed, scrambled off K's stomach and vomited heavily on the pillow behind him. He then proceeded to sniff the stain on the pillow and lick it curiously.

 

K couldn't hold back a disgusted retch. “You're terrible”, he said, snatching the pillow from under the cat, causing it to meow in outrage and swipe at his hand.

 “Oh grow up”, K scoffed, carrying the pillow to the washing machine, aware of heavy steps behind him.

 “Did he vomit on something again?”, Adam asked amused, eyeing the way K tried to stuff the pillow into the overflowing washing machine without touching any cat puke and the way Beethoven sat couple of steps behind him.

 “Yeah”, K grimaced, eyeing the way dirty clothes spilled from the machine.

 “You're both ridiculous”, Adam grinned.

 “But you still like us, right?”, K grinned back, smug.

 “I like you”, Adam said, “the jury's still out for Beethoven”.

 K put his hand on his chest in mock offense, “let's go Beethoven, I can see when we're not welcome”.

 But the cat was no longer in the room.

 “Traitor!”, K shouted, causing Adam to bend over in a fit of laughter.

 “I hope he went to puke on Skov's bed”, Adam smiled.

 “You're a terrible person, but I have to agree”, K snorted.

 “Please, like you're not worse”, Adam rolled his eyes, tugging K closer to himself with an arm on his hips.

 “I mean, yeah, but I never wished anyone to get cat puke on their bed”.

 “You told Jordan you'll stuff his ass with explosives and making him blow his dog because he bumped into your car”, Adam raised an unimpressed eyebrow, “he was afraid to come to school for a week”.

 “Holy shit, really?”, K laughed, “what a fucking dickhead”.

 “He was really scared”, Adam chuckled, pressing a smile into Kavinsky's nape, draping himself over the shorter boy, “he asked me if you were serious”.

 “What did you say?”, K asked curiously, shuffling around the kitchen, trying not to slump under Adam's added weight.

 “Said about what?”, Proko asked, dropping down on the chair.

 “Remember when K threatened Jordan, because he bumped into his car?”, Adam asked.

 “Yeah. K was high as fuck, all those threats were ridiculous”, Proko rolled his eyes.

 “Well, Jordan believed him”, Adam chuckled, “poor fucker”.

 “Fuck him”, K shrugged, “he should've been looking where he was going”.

 “You're both terrible”, Proko smiled, watching as Adam dug his fingers into K's ribs, causing K to shriek and elbow Adam in the stomach. Adam then proceeded to place an apologetic kiss on K's neck and obeyed his request to “kindly fuck off Parrish before I drop a mug”.

 

 

 

 Swan did not mind the cat. To be honest, it made him no difference whether the cat was here or not. The only thing that the cat changed in Swan's life was that he had to throw out a pair of sneakers, but that was okay. The cat made K smile a lot more these days.

 

 

 

 

“K, I love both you and Beethoven, but he has to go”.

Beethoven cried in outrage, pushing himself into Kavinsky's chest, further separating two boys, making K inhale a disgusting smell of damp fur that clung to Beethoven despite countless baths. K quietly mourned the absence of Proko's lips on his jaw.

“Beethoven, you know I love you man, but I'm trying to get some”, K explained, looking at the cat rebukingly.

Proko laughed, “be a bro, Beethoven”.

“Go bother Jiang”, K pushed the cat off the bed, ignoring the indignant mrow, “let me have some fun, dude”.

He closed the door behind the cat and threw himself on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm.

 

K felt Proko breathing down on his face, the warmth of his body so close to his own. He smiled into the kiss, letting Proko's hands wander under his shirt and over his hips, wrapping his own arms around his boyfriend's neck. He felt cold fingers slip beneath his waistband, thumbs catching on his hip bones, his hips rising and mouth dropping open with a shaky exhale and-

 

“I don't care if you're fucking, take this cat away from me, right now!”, Skov yelled, slamming his fist on the closed doors.

Proko groaned, defeated, and K's hips dropped back down heavily, both boys boiling with frustration and dissapointment.

“You think we can ignore him until he goes away?”, Proko murmured, hiding his face in K's neck, hands trailing along his sides.

K heaved a sigh, his chest expanding painfully, “I don't know. I really hope so because-”.

I'm not going away!”, Skov warned through the door.

“Fuck off!”, K groaned.

 

K felt Proko mouth along his neck lazily, and forgot about the commotion outside almost completely until an outraged yowl broke him out of his reverie.

“For fuck's sake K, I know you're not getting fucked because you'd be much louder, get this cat away or I'm throwing it out of the window!”, Skov yelled.

“I mean, he's not wrong”, Proko snorted sitting up, hair sticking in every direction.

“I hate both of you”, K sniffed, “do you think Beethoven would survive being thrown out of the window?”.

Proko eyed him slyly and pushed him back down.

“You”, he grinned, unzipping K's pants, “are the worst person I've ever met and I will let animal rights warriors destroy you for what you said”.

K snorted, eagerly pulling Proko's shirt off him.

“But”, Proko continued unbothered by K's frantic tugging, “Beethoven looks like he already survived a nuke or two. He can take it”.

 K's laugh turned into a noise that succesfully chased Skov away from their door.

 

 

 

 

Beethoven survived.

 

 


End file.
